I'm Drunk and pissed (and depressed)

How does this happen? 10 days later and I am still bitter. People get to go on with their lives and mine feels stuck in time. Part of me wants to give up and go ahead with exposing this school and the freaks that run it and other times I feel close enough to just finish. I know the right thing to do.......... You know what I hate most...is the fact that I will probably have the same instructors as last time and knowing my luck, I will get them for clinical. The one for Labor and Delivery is descent, it's the chain smoking bitch that makes everyone feel like shit in the hospital that I hate (sorry if this is repetitive). Also, you know how hard you have worked and the fact that you have to write more papers, more presentations, more time...no one wants to endure. Anyone who has been through a program, jumped through many hoops, put up with alot of bureaucratic  bullshit and kissed people's asses just to get by and pretended that you like some of your classmates only because you had to do presentations with them (sorry run on sentence), knows what I am talking about. I am only glad about starting over again with , hopefully, a class that is less worried about being clicky and cut throat and more worried about the task at hand and willing to help their fellow students which I can't say for the professors.  I know that this is a work in progress and everything will probably be fine. I am such a lucky person to still be in this position, having great, supportive friends, a fiance that loves me for who I am and will support me through any situation, and I would not trade that for anything.

One point &?#!

I'm not sure either to be happy or smack the faces of my third semester instructors. "It's just a little bleep in the big scheme of things", thats what some students (who passed) are calling and telling me. I understand what they are saying, but for right now I just want to be angry. I tried my yoga class yesterday to try to "let it go", it might be too early for that,  I need a couple more days and a couple more beers. I am among 2 other students who could not continue on to 4th semester and therefore have to repeat the last 9 weeks due to one point ; and if we are soooo lucky to be excepted back into the program by god herself , I can try this again and start where I left off.  Our overall grade was 74.4% and you need 75%.  Is this really meant to be? Maybe I am supposed to repeat this rotation because I enjoyed it most of all? 

 I have constantly complained about the other students that I have been with since last Jan., careful what you wish for. 

Now what. I wait for a phone call from my program director "the woman behind the curtain" so I can make an appointment to come in and discuss my options. This process of jumping through hoops is driving me crazy. You would think that with hard work and a good reputation, there is no need to worry, but that's how they have trained us........to worry.

The plan...to start back in August to repeat this 9 weeks and then have 9 wks off to get ready for 4th semester in jan. and hopefully graduate in May.  Total Joke!!!